? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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