she woke up with a sticky ear
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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