Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
