Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
