He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
