Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
