Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
