My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
