THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
