Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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