do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I just sharted jello shots
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
