Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
