So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
