I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
