It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
