is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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