Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
