Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
