Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
