Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
