Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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