He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
