she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
