Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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