This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
