Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Found your dick twin last night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
