idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
