it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
