I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
