I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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