So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
