tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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