i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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