after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
