I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
