I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My bed is full of blood and feathers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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