We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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