I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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