I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
