Fine. I'll sleep in my office
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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