I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
