Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
