when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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