Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
