have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
