a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
