you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
