is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
