I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
