I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
