so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
