So drunk its hurt
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
