i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
